preoccupied with my weight and then wanting to be healthy and it triggered my obsession with food and being a certain shape." Victoria Ferguson's experience is widespread among dancers who feel under pressure to look a certain way.
But for the 22-year-old from west London this was not a pressure that stemmed from teachers and artistic directors telling her to lose weight, it was a strain she put on herself that eventually developed into an eating disorder.
"There is an unspoken competitiveness between dancers," she said.
"Every day you are looking at your friends in tights and leotards which isn't normal, and the whole purpose of dance is to be self-critical and constantly pushing yourself, and you strive to be better. It was all self-imposed."
'Felt in control'
Victoria is one of about 1.6 million people in the UK affected by eating disorders, of which 11% are men.
And the prevalence of them in dancers, particularly ballet dancers, is said to be nearly 10 times higher than in non-dancers.Victoria added: "Eating disorders are not just about what you look like and weigh. It is far more complex.
"Making yourself sick is not normal. I knew it was not right but I felt in control. It affected my mind and social relationships because I was being so secretive.
"I look back now and I feel ashamed and disgusted at how I lied to my family and friends because I was adamant they shouldn't know. If anyone approached the subject I shot them down."
Victoria, who danced from a young age, developed bulimia at 15. It got worse when she joined a professional dance school but it was not until the local GP referred her for treatment that she got the help she needed.
The link between dancing and eating disorders has been researched by many health professionals and psychiatrists.
Professor Jon Arcelus from the Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust Adult Eating Disorders Service, has looked at how personalities and the psychologically and physically pressured environment of the ballet world are linked with developing an eating disorder.
His work has also seen him helping the Royal Ballet create its own Eating Disorder Policy for staff and students.
Earlier this month the Leicester service, which is one of the biggest in the UK, moved to a new £1.2m residential centre supported by the Royal Ballet and Dance UK - further emphasising the link between dance and eating disorders.
'Environment is key' Emily Copperthwaite, from Leicestershire, spent more than 12 weeks at the centre for treatment for anorexia.
"I have had an unhealthy mind set and relationship with food for three years," said the 19-year-old.